As I write this blog, it is exactly one year from the time that we were flying home from our mission. It has been an amazing year with many, many blessings from our Heavenly Father. As we came home, we wanted to concentrate on a "family mission". We defined this has strengthening our family at home and doing family history and temple work for our ancestors and relatives on the other side of the veil. We feel that we have worked just as hard as we did on our mission and we have continued to feel that same peace and joy.
In our exit interview, a year ago, Elder De Feo made incredible promises as noted in our blog at that time, "He promised us that we would see blessings in our family when we return. He said that we would recognize some of these blessings immediately, others would happen over time. He said that we believe in vicarious blessings in the Church and that our family would certainly be blessed because of our service. We should trust that these blessings will happen with our family."
His words have been literally fulfilled. One of the great blessings of this year just occurred last night as we celebrated a joyous Thanksgiving dinner with our disabled daughter Camila and three of her children. This was the first time that we were able to take them to the care center to see their mother. They have been apprehensive about dealing with her physical and mental decline, since the death of her husband and their father three years ago. However, last night it appears that all of that apprehension and discomfort melted away, as they miraculously accepted an invitation to visit, and then stayed for over 2 hours, showing love in ways that far exceeded any hope or dream that we have ever had. More on that later on, but it was a clear miracle and a wonderful way to finish up our first year back from our mission.
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| Camila with three of her children, Caide, Kaisha and Cherish - ALL SMILES AND LOVE |
As we have completed this first year, we want to give a short report on our priorities and purposes.
Strengthening our family
A year ago, we gave a Christmas present to each of our grandchildren. It was a certificate good for one individual date with their "Oma and Opa". We certainly did not understand what a large undertaking that was in time and resources. However, it was worth every minute and every cent. We completed our 36th and last date on Monday of this week. That is a lot of grandkids. As I asked Debbie what we had learned, she responded that each grandchild is unique with their own personality and strengths. Our relationship has been strong with some of our grandchildren and with others it has been very limited. However, we feel that it has been strengthened in every situation. Just a summary of the type of dates that we have had:
7 visited the Hogle Zoo (we bought an annual grandparent pass)
6 visited the Living Planet Aquarium (another annual pass for us)
6 Pennsylvania grandkids played new board games in our hotel room with us, 2 at a time
5 visited Arcades or Fun Centers
3 went on Horseback rides
3 attended theatrical plays or movies
2 went to the Curiosity Museum at Thanksgiving Point
1 went to a U. of U. football game
1 went to Disney on Ice
1 learned how to Swim
1 Played Golf at "Top Golf"
1 attended a special Chocolate cooking class
1 did Baptisms for the Dead in a temple of her choice in Utah
All enjoyed a meal together with us at a place of their choice.
Our family activities have been well attended. Many were held at the Clubhouse at our Condominium to accommodate the number of family participants, usually from 30 to 45 participating. They have included Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas Parties, January Ice Skating party, Family Home Evening, game afternoon after the Jordan River Temple Open House, Easter Dinner, a baby shower for a new mother, an overnight camp at the Heber Valley Girls Camp cabins and our Halloween party. Every one of our family in Utah has participated in at least one of these activities.
Although some of our family have different religious viewpoints we feel that they have all felt welcome to enjoy the companionship of one another. This is part of the immediate blessings that Elder De Feo promised that we would see. In one case we have seen a full reactivation into the gospel and have rejoiced in the Lord's hand in this process.
Family History activities
We were blessed to return to Germany in April and May for 6 weeks. In that time we found hundreds of additional direct ancestors and thousands of additional relatives that needed temple work performed. This is to add to what we had found during our mission. We have spent many, many hours updating information into Family Search. It has consumed almost all of our free time. My 88 year old mother has also worked on this almost every day since our return and has thousands of temple ordinances reserved. We have even found quite a few more resources in Family Search on-line. These have helped us tie much of this information together and identify even more relatives.
We have shared our findings in an extended family reunion and with all living relatives that we have been able to identify, including those that are active in the Family Search software. This has also led to new and rewarding relationships with extended relatives.
Temple Work
Once the many ancestors and relatives have been identified, we have felt driven to do all in our power to arrange for the temple ordinances to be performed on their behalf. We have been blessed to find many relatives and neighbors to help in this enormous task. Many hundreds of them have been baptized in temples all over the United States by their descendants and their ward members. The additional ordinances have also been performed by many relatives who are now enjoying going to the temple for a family member. The great culmination of this work is done in the sealing ordinances in the temple. We have organized temple sealing groups amongst Tom's and Debbie's siblings. We have started holding double sessions to be able to accommodate the many relatives that are waiting to be sealed together. Just in the sealing sessions that we have participated this year, there have been over 80 couples sealed together and over 150 individuals sealed to their parents from our family names.
Last month we were able to participate with Debbie's siblings in a very special sealing session where 26 couples were sealed, 21 of which were direct ancestors and 43 children sealed to these parents.
We have an additional 140 sealing ordinances that are ready to perform. Our next double sealing session is scheduled for December 1 with Tom's siblings. This opportunity is a highlight of this temple work.
This time in the temple has also increased our relationship with our grandchildren as we perform baptisms with them. In the past month, we were able to perform baptisms with our granddaughter, Katelyn, in the Newport Beach Temple, while on a Southern California vacation with her and her family.
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| With Katelyn in front of the Newport Beach Temple, after vicarious baptisms |
Later in the month, we were able to do baptisms with three other grandchildren in the Jordan River Temple. One was our newly ordained deacon, Joshua Digerness. We were so pleased with Joshua. We did not understand his very strong fear of water before this experience. After each baptism, he came out of the water gasping for air. However, he stuck with it for 10 baptisms, without complaining. Only when trying to teach him to swim later that night did I discover his great fear of the water. We worked on the swimming and made a little progress, but my major learning of that day was of his faith and courage. We were so proud of him.
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| Joshua, Joseph and Nikki after being proxy for over 30 baptisms |
The other side of our focus on the Temple has been the privilege to be ordinance workers in the Jordan River Temple. Each day that we serve, we go home extremely uplifted. We find that as we are voice or proxy for temple ordinances, we continue to understand them more fully. As we see the youth and the elderly visit the temple, we are inspired by their examples. Our days serving in the temple are highlights of our week. We testify that the spirit is certainly strong in the temple.
Serving in the Church
We live in an amazing ward, full of consecrated members. However, we still have the opportunity to minister to others, many who have challenges relating to aging. Some have other challenges. In each case we receive more than we give when we minister to them. We are just finishing up our two Self-Reliance Finance groups. This has brought us so much closer to these wonderful members of our groups. The love in these self-reliance groups is amazing. We will report more on the service projects that they are organizing as part of the completion of the group. The photo below is of two of the sisters that finished their last class on Tuesday of this week. The others will complete their course next Monday.
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| Debbie with Sister Bailey and Sister Dickson, very special sisters who have diligently progressed both spiritually and temporally in our course. |
Since July, Debbie has been serving as a Gospel Doctrine teacher in our ward. She teaches every fourth week for those members whose last name begins from A to G. That is how we divide our ward into Sunday School classes. She has done an amazing job. She puts so much study and preparation into her lessons and then the Lord takes over when it is time to teach. I particularly have felt the spirit in her classes as the Spirit has taught me of the truths that are covered in the lessons. Below is me dressed up as Jeremiah as a visual aid for her most recent Sunday School lesson.
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| Jeremiah, the prophet, assigned to preach repentance to the Sunday School class |
Lead by a Prophet and Apostles
Soon after we returned from our mission, President Russell M. Nelson became the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This has been the spiritual highlight of this past year. He has introduced positive changes in the Church in ministering in a higher and more holy way, has emphasized the importance of the name of our Church to remember that it is The Church of Jesus Christ and is now emphasizing Home based learning with Church support. For each of these changes and emphasis, we have received confirmation from our Heavenly Father that this is His will.
As I serve in the temple, I have the privilege to perform vicarious confirmations and ordinations to the Melchizedek Priesthood. Each time that I repeat "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" in these ordinances, I receive a strong confirmation that this is His Church. What a blessing this correction that has been revealed to our prophet has been for me personally. As that confirming spirit surges into my heart, I am uplifted and more prepared to receive additional inspiration in the temple.
The direction from our Church leaders in the General Conference messages has been a highlight for Debbie and myself. We listen to the conference talks every time we go to the gym or when we drive for more than a few minutes. We review each talk in detail and try to decide what to change in our lives because of that message. When we struggle, the Lord pushes us along. For example, President Nelson taught us in April how to receive personal revelation. One of the recommendations is that we daily feast on the Words of Christ in the Book of Mormon. Although I have tried to study daily, much of my study has been in reading the Book of Mormon in German. This process helps my German understanding but has not always been a feasting experience. Since the challenge in October conference to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, I am now doing a better job at "feasting on the words of Christ in the Book of Mormon" and I feel that my ability to receive personal revelation is increasing. I testify that we are blessed as we strive to follow all of the counsel that we receive from our leaders.
The photo below is of six of our grandchildren that watched the first session of the October Conference with us.
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| Watching conference and receiving treats for recognizing the chosen words of the conference talks with River's children |
In the April general conference Elder Bednar talked about Meekness. We listened to this talk over and over again. My personal goal in this was to learn more from those around us that are not necessarily our leaders. We have invited some of our ward members into our home for dinner and to learn from them. The last two experiences have been totally amazing. Each of the two couples (The Rowberrys and the Burkes) have shared their life experiences with us including many spiritual experiences.
For example, Sister Rowberry, as a widow, was the personal nurse for President Benson in his later years. The things that she experienced and learned first hand from President Benson were amazing, including a prophetic voice that she would go to Jerusalem. She then shared with us the story of how she married the widower, Joe Rowberry, who was serving as a missionary in Jerusalem when his wife passed away. He became aware of Sister Rowberry, dated her for a few weeks and corresponded with her from his position at the Jerusalem Center. He then arranged to come back to Utah to get married and take his new bride with him back to Jerusalem. This is just a short synopsis of an amazing story from two dedicated servants of the Lord.
Recently we had Brother and Sister Burke over for dinner. They are faithful members who go to the temple each and every Wednesday, with their walkers and cane. Their spirit is powerful. When they came to dinner, we learned of her experience as a convert in Sweden and the only member of her family that joined the Church. Their courtship consisted of going to the Salt Lake Temple, doing the ordinances for ancestors, from baptism through the endowment after work. That was the beginning of a consecrated life together. She shared other experiences too sacred to record. Once again we have learned from these consecrated individuals just as Elder Bednar promised.
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| Brother and Sister Burke in a recent photo at a Church activity |
Other Activities since our last blog post:
On October 1, we went with our daughter Kari and her family on a vacation to Southern California. We left early on Monday morning and returned on Friday night late so that we could be back home for General Conference the next day. The activities included entrance to Disneyland for 3 days, Universal Studios and Sea World. Our grandkids also wanted to see the beach. This was the realization of a dream that Kari has had for years for her children. Now that she has a good job, she worked two jobs for several months to be able to afford this. We were pleased to be able to be invited. It also gave us another chance to get to know 4 of our grandchildren even better. It was also the first time that Braden, Katelyn, and Nikki had ever flown in an airplane and the first time in California for all of the children except Braden.
We left and arrived early in the morning on Monday, rented two vehicles and went directly to Universal Studios. The highlight there was Harry Potter World, especially for Katelyn.
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| Debbie and Kari and her 4 children at Universal Studios |
That night we drove to a rented home that Kari had reserved for the week, fairly close to Disneyland. As grandparents we were able to stay in the master suite. The accommodations were great for all of us. The next day we went to Disneyland. All of the kids were really good to support each other and for the most part we enjoyed all the different attractions together or at times in two groups. We had to leave the park early that night since they had a special Disney Halloween night that required separate admission.
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| In front of A Small World, all except Braden and Nikki that went on a different ride |
The next morning we drove to San Diego to visit Sea World. There were almost no lines in Sea World which made it easy to ride and visit attractions.
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| All of us in this photo at Sea World |
On the way home we stopped at the San Diego Temple to just see it from the outside.
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| In front of one of the most beautiful temples of them all |
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| A selfie of Debbie and Tom in front of the San Diego temple |
That night, Debbie and I had dinner with my youngest brother who lives near Disneyland. They seldom get visits from family, so we were pleased to visit them. Eloana, my sister in law, made enough food for the whole group even though only Debbie and I went. Our miscommunication. They are raising a young family in the high costs of California while Dan works as a professor at Cal State Fullerton. Their sons are excellent baseball players and are on all star teams. However, they play on the all star teams only if they don't have to participate in the games on the Sabbath which has been accepted. They have managed to be very good and active and still honor their commitments to the Lord. It is a great story that helps show how the Lord blesses those who honor him.
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| With my youngest brother, Dan, and his two sons Anthony and Adam |
On Thursday morning we got up early and went to the Newport Beach Temple with Katelyn. There we met with another family that was doing temple work for their ancestors on their grandmother's 80th birthday. The temple presidency took time to talk to them and us about the blessings of the temple. It was a very special experience. I was also able to be baptized for some of the male ancestors. It was also our first visit to this temple.
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| The beautiful Newport Beach temple with the son right above the angel Moroni |
After the temple, we met Kari and the other kids at the nearby beach and had a wonderful time. Nikki became my partner in going out into the high waves. The temperature was in the 70s which was very enjoyable. This was probably my favorite non temple experience of the trip.
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| With the whole beach to ourselves |
We went back to Disneyland that evening and enjoyed the night parade and some of the things that we had missed on Tuesday. Most importantly we were able to see some of Serenity's favorite Disney characters. This is the best part of Disneyland, seeing the happiness in the eyes of the children.
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| Serenity giving Minnie Mouse a big hug |
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| Her smile says it all, Pluto is her favorite Disney character |
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| The whole family in front of the Disneyland Castle |
On Friday morning, Kari's family returned to Disneyland and California Adventure for one more time. Debbie and I decided to head up to Los Angeles and do an endowment session at the Los Angeles Temple before continuing onto the airport later that evening. It had been years since I have been to the Los Angeles temple and Debbie had never been there. As always, it was a joy to be in the temple. Afterwards we went through the visitors center and learned a lot more about the construction of this amazing temple way back in the 1950s.
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| Debbie and I in front of the Los Angeles Temple |
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| A view of the entire Los Angeles Temple |
We met up with Kari and her family at the airport and took a late flight back to Salt Lake City. By the time we arrived it was past midnight and we were able to sing Happy Birthday to Braden who was turning 19 on October 6.
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| Grandma with the birthday boy as he turned 19 |
This was a wonderful experience to get to know our grandkids and daughter better. I was very impressed with how Kari organized everything and how selfless she is. She tried to do everything to make this a special experience for her children. As grandparents we were mostly observers and able to enjoy ourselves without taking on responsibility. This was a new role for us, but we enjoyed it.
We must say that although the amusement parks are amazing, we find the peace and beauty of the temples that we visited to be more enjoyable. They help us focus our priorities on eternal values rather than temporary pleasures. In our lives we certainly need to find the right balance and priority.
Our Last Grandparent Dates
We have completed our grandparent dates in the past 6 weeks with wonderful experiences with several of our grandchildren. The summaries and a few photos of each are as follows:
On Tuesday, October 9, we took Joseph out to dinner and then Grandpa helped teach him to swim. He has many Boy Scout merit badges but has never passed his first class for lack of swimming ability. By the time we were through, he was doing the backstroke over and over again with confidence. After another trip to the pool a few weeks later, he was going 50 yards in deep water without stopping. Another 50 yards to go and he will pass his requirement! I was so proud for his persistence and progress. He also felt very good about his progress. Another successful date!
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| Dinner at Wendys with Joseph, his dinner choice |
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| Joseph swimming on his own and loving it! |
On October 12, we did two dates. We went with Dawson to the Zoo during the day and then we took Isake to a University of Utah Football game that night.
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| Dawson loved the river otter |
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| The river otter loved Dawson |
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| He loved climbing and is very good at it |
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| Eating snacks with Dawson by the Red Panda Bear |
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| With Opa on the Carousel |
Isake is one of Camila's kids. He doesn't know us that well. As the evening began, he was not very conversational, but by the end we had made great progress.
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| Isake in the stands at the football game |
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| Cold, but enjoying the game, the Utes won |
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| We rode TRAX to and from the game, first time experience for Isake |
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| Isaek at his first game the next morning, leading his team in warm up exercises |
On November 1 we were able to take Arianna, Ammon's daughter, to the Aquarium. We haven't known this beautiful girl very well since she doesn't live with Ammon. This was her first time to be alone with us. It went very well and we had a wonderful time.
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| Enjoying the Penguins with Grandma |
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| Arianna relaxin with the sharks |
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| With grandma on a frog |
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| With grandpa on the rope bridge |
We tried several times to take Kaisha and Naliyah horseback riding where Caide now works. On Oct. 13, they were closed and on Oct. 27 the lead cowboy had to fix his truck. Finally on Nov. 3 it all worked out and we still had pretty good weather. We had taken Kaisha out to eat on Oct. 27, but she was very reserved and not interested in eating. So we took her to pick Caide up from work, since the truck had broken down and she agree to go to the Zoo instead. Therefore we had another impromptu zoo trip with Caide and Kaisha. By the end of this activity, she was warming up to us. The next week, when I picked her up, she was full of smiles and conversation. One more strengthened relationship.
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| Caide and Kaisha at the Zoo, on a special trick or treat day |
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| Kaisha on her horse |
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| Kaisha on the trail, with Caide leading the group |
Naliyah had gone to a German lunch with us the month earlier but wanted to take her first horseback ride and see her special cousin, Caide. So this turned out to be a great experience for all of us.
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| Naliyan on her first horse back ride |
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| All of us together, Naliyah, Grandpa, Kaisha and Caide |
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| Kaisha, Saide and Naliyah together |
We took Gina's oldest two kids to the Thanksgiving Point Curiosity Museum. Since Hudson had not warmed up to us that well, we thought he would do better with his sister Addie along. We took them in their family's minivan and he wasn't sure about it. However, once we got there, he was just fine. The kids had fun and we enjoyed it also. Hopefully this was a step forward in a relationship with our grandson born while we were on our mission and his sister who was only one when we left.
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| Hudson and Addie exploring food options at the Discovery Museum |
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| Exploring water play with leaking containers |
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| Composing music |
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| Playing the keyboard with bubble action |
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| Grandpa helping balance out the seesaw |
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| Grandma helping Hudson swing |
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| Sliding down together |
Our final grandparent date was with Serenity, our youngest grandchild when we left for our mission. We had just been to Disneyland with her, so our relationship was already strong. We still had a wonderful time, once again at the Aquarium.
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| Serenity watching the penguins swim underwater |
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| Enjoying the sting rays |
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| Looking up at the sharks |
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| Serenity riding the colored frog |
Family Halloween Party
On October 20, we had our family Halloween party. This is always our best attended family activity of the year. Plenty of costumes, plenty of fun and plenty of photos:
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| John, Nataliah and Tiancom |
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| The table for five year olds and younger |
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| Lots of yummy Halloween treats |
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| Most of the grandkids getting ready for games |
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| Even Great Grandma is in costume |
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| Coloring Pumpkins |
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| Ghost Bowling |
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| Craft Table |
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| Decorating Cookies |
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| Digging for Dinosaur Bones and Creating dinosaurs |
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| Doughnut eating contest |
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| Jurassic Park Family |
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| Trick or Treating |
Tending for Temple Attendance
In our retirement status, we are privileged to enjoy our temple service and attendance. However, we recognize how difficult it is to attend the temple on a regular basis when you have small children. To help our children out, we have offered grandparent baby sitting for those who want to go to the Jordan River Temple next door. We started with our first family temple night last month.
We took advantage by having our grandkids help us get ready for the Halloween party the next day.
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| Building Popcorn hands for the Halloween Party |
Debbie continues with her creativity as Ashton and Dawson get ready for Thanksgiving while their parents are in the temple.
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| Thanksgiving turkeys with feathers of what they are thankful for |
More Birthdays
Just a few photos of the birthday celebrations in the past six weeks:
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| Kaleb turning 5 |
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| Nataliah turning 11 |
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| McKenzie turning 11 |
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| Caide turning 16 |
The Miracle with Camila and her Children
As we were relocating to Germany before our mission three years ago, our Son-in-law Eddie died from a drug overdose. Our daughter, Camila, was in declining health and unable to take care of her 4 children. We thought it was related to drug usage. The four children were taken care of by their aunt Caren, Eddie's sister, and Camila was admitted to a care facility.
We tried to be involved as much as possible before our mission began, but the situation was very complicated. We didn't know Caren well and she had her hands full with this new responsibility. While we were on our mission, all efforts to connect with these 4 grandchildren failed. Our communication with Camila was also minimal as she was unable to recognize us on phone calls. My ex-wife and our son Sam took on the major responsibilities to support Camila.
When we came home, we knew that this situation would be one of our top priorities. We began weekly visits with Camila and have been much more involved in her care. We also found that the youngest daughter, Cherish, had been placed in another home and was being raised by an excellent couple. We have become more involved with our four grandchildren, including special experiences in our "dates" with them. One of the key blessings was when we were able to help Caide gain employment in the horseback enterprise, after his horseback date. As I have taken him to work each Saturday morning, our communication with his aunt Caren has improved considerably.
In this past year, we have been able to get the kids with their mother in a few family activities but have not been able to coordinate a visit to their mom at the care center. Each of the children were nervous about visiting with their mom in her difficult health situation. We understood, because visits to Camila are difficult. She does not converse except sometimes one word responses. Her abilities have become very limited.
During this process, I received an email from her aunt in Brazil, wanting to know how Camila was doing. We had not communicated with her since Camila was adopted 26 years ago. As we sent emails back and forth and I shared Camila's current situation, her aunt told me that her mother had suffered the same health decline. Subsequently, we have found that this also occurred with her grandmother, a brother and some cousins.We have realized that what we thought was a drug related health issue is probably based on genetic factors of what her aunt called a mysterious illness.
We are now doing significant testing for some genetic diseases with Camila. So far we don't have anything identified. However, one day as I sat in the doctors office and learned about the potential diagnosis, my perspective totally changed. Camila suffers not because of her actions but because of something that appears to have come in her genes. My heart was filled with love and compassion that exceeded anything I had felt before. Instead of hoping that Camila would get better, I realized that our role was to help her be happy in the days that she has on this earth. I also know that she will be welcomed home by her loving Savior when her earthly experience is completed.
We recently received an invitation to participate in a Thanksgiving dinner on November 15 at the care center. Not expecting any response from her children, I sent their guardians a text to invite them last Sunday afternoon. Within 2 hours I got a response from Cherish's guardian saying that she wanted to go. I was excited and made plans accordingly. On Thursday morning, I got a text from Caren saying that Caide also wanted to go. When I picked up Cherish, she came with gifts, photos and art projects that she was giving to her mother. When we arrived to pick up Caide, Cherish went in the home and convinced her sister Kaisha to come with us.
All of a sudden, I was going to the dinner with three of Camila's children. When we arrived, they sat next to her and gave her unlimited love and attention. It was amazing! Look at Camila's smile in these photos:
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| Taking a selfie with their mother |
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| Caide sharing photos on his phone |
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| Kaisha and Cherish making their mom happy. |
After dinner the kids wanted to go hang out in her room. They decorated the room, visited with other residents and showed love and attention like Camila has not had for a long time.
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| Photo of all of them together |
I just observed this miracle happening. I suggested that we could leave when they wanted to so this would not be too difficult for them. Their response was "do we have to leave?" I told them we would stay as long as they wanted. At one point I was kicked out of the room so that they could help their mother change her clothes. We finally played UNO with her. Another resident in a wheel chair joined us. Kaisha was on Camila's team and everyone made sure that Camila won. After two hours, I told them that we had to leave so they could get home since it was still a school night.
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| Cherish giving a good bye hug to her mother |
I marveled at what I had just experienced. Out of seemingly nowhere, these children showed the pure love of Christ to their mother. As we left Kaisha said, "she is the best mother that I could have". We made plans to return for a Christmas celebration and a visit to the zoo. Somehow all of their concerns and apprehensions melted away and were replaced with love and acceptance.
I still don't know how this happened, but I do know that it was a miracle that blessed not only Camila's life but that of her children. This certainly fulfilled the blessing given to us by Elder De Feo one year ago.
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