21 Years Down, Eternity to Go

This past week we celebrated our 21st Wedding Anniversary (March 12, 2019).  It has been an incredible ride together with Debbie.  Over the past year we have settled into several routines in our life.  The greatest emphasis has been our time in the temple, working as ordinance workers and doing ordinance work for our ancestors.  On our wedding anniversary we chose to spend the day in the temple, which was very rewarding.

In front of the Jordan River Temple after spending 9 hours in the temple performing ordinances for our ancestors.  Best anniversary celebration ever!

When we go to the temple, we always feel inspired and leave wanting more time together in the temple.  For this anniversary we were able to do two endowment sessions, a sealing session and then two more endowment sessions.  What a joy!

The ancestors for whom we performed the endowment in the first two sessions, were then sealed for eternity in the sealing session.  That brought special meaning to us to see the culmination of their temple ordinances completed.  It also was very special to be able to listen several more times to the promises and blessings in the sealing ordinance of the temple.  This is what brings most meaning to our marriage.  Another special treat that day was that the sealer was Elder Carlos Amado, Emeritus Seventy.  I have met with him many times over the years and love him.  He recognized me in the sealing room and we were delighted to be there with him.

Ordinances performed on our anniversary for those on the other side of the veil.

We started the day with Debbie taking my mother to a follow-up doctor appointment.  We finished the day by eating out at Braza Grill, a Brazilian restaurant.  That was our favorite meal of our honeymoon, 21 years ago, eating at a Brazilian restaurant in Washington D.C.

Meat on a stick, Brazilian style

We were also able to pick up Debbie's Wedding ring, which had been cleaned special for the occasion.  Otherwise our anniversary gifts were limited to roses and a new toothbrush holder.  This was inspired by the toothbrush holder in our son, Jared's, new bathroom, which we had seen the previous weekend.

As I (Tom) reflect over the past 21 years, I am amazed at the love our Heavenly Father has for us.  He clearly orchestrated our marriage in so many ways.  We often reflect on our getting together as some of the strongest spiritual impressions of our lives.  We needed that as we struggled through so many challenges of raising our combined families.  As tough as it was, we never doubted that the Lord was with us and that he would support us through those trials.

As we finished raising our family (initial phases) in our home and were able to retire and serve a full-time mission those seeds of love have blossomed much more than the roses above.  The first time we ever lived in a home, just to the two of us, was when we moved to Germany in our pre-mission. 

As we served 24 hours a day together our love for each other and our Father in Heaven grew exponentially.  Since we have been home from our mission, we continue to spend most of our time together serving the Lord, family and others.  We have learned to anticipate our separate roles as we minister to others and especially as we coordinate larger family events.  We feel like we are a team in all ways and that brings us much joy.

Very personally, I know that the reason that this has worked so well, is because my wife, Debbie, is 100% committed to doing the will of our Heavenly Father.  As she strives to study, ponder and then serve, she is constantly prompted to do the many things that enrich our lives.  We feel that we both strive to put our Heavenly Father first and that always keeps us on "the same page".

Last year we were prompted (through Debbie) to have a special date with each of our grandchildren.  The results were amazing as relationships were strengthened, or in some cases, just initiated.  This year, our plan is to hold group activities with our grandchildren, which not only strengthens our relationships further, it also increases the relationship between cousins, some of which barely know each other.  Debbie has affectionately called theses Cousin Hang Outs (CHOs).  We also are taking our children (including children in laws) on a two (us) on one dinner for their birthdays.  Each of these newly committed activities are becoming a major focus of our every day family efforts.

Getting Started with Cousin Hang Outs (CHO) in Pennsylvania

We scheduled our first CHO for February 22 with our pre-teen granddaughters.  Three of them were 11 and the other 8.  While anticipating this first CHO, we went to Pennsylvania for a visit with Melanie's family and the first temple visit for our grandson, Thomas, since he became a deacon in January.  This was made possible due to the change in ordaining young men to the priesthood in January of the year that they turn 12.  Thomas will be turning 12 in September.  During this visit we decided to try out a few of our CHO ideas.

First of all, we arrived in Philadelphia on February 15 and met Thomas and James (recently ordained a teacher) and their parents that evening at the Philadelphia Temple.  We tried to duplicate the experiences that we have had with our other grandchildren in Utah as we do baptisms for the dead with them.

James and Thomas in front of the Philadelphia Temple after the baptisms

The two of them with Grandma and a fuller picture of the top of the temple

We were able to take them out to dinner in New Jersey (since we got lost leaving Philadelphia) while their parents were able to do an endowment session.  We then took them back to our hotel room and started our first older grandkids CHO.  This included completing 15 questions for them and us, so we can get to know them better.  Our activity was cut short as their parents arrived to pick them up around 11:00 pm.  We were able to continue their CHO the following Sunday evening.

On Saturday we took turns with the younger two (Timothy and Charlie) with a simplified version of the questions.  We also enjoyed treats and games together.  Later, on Saturday, we had the same experience with Edward (7) and Henry (9).  We then brought pizza home for the entire family and enjoyed the evening with James and Melanie and their children.

Debbie with Timothy and Charlie when we picked up treats at the store.

Our Cho in our hotel room with Timothy and Charlie

On Sunday we enjoyed our Church meetings together, had dinner and conversation with the family and finished up our CHO with James and Thomas.  It was wonderful to be served the sacrament at Church by our two grandsons.  We were also very impressed with the quality of Sunday School class and discussion from the Come Follow Me materials in this small branch.  We love seeing the direction of the Lord functioning wherever we go.

Our two Aaronic Priesthood holders

An updated family photo of this special family after Church meetings

On Monday (Presidents Day) we had all of the kids come to our hotel and go swimming in the pool.  They love the water and it made for a very special day together.  As we spend more and more time with this family that lives so far away, we love them more and more.  They are growing up so well.  During this visit, we also shared some of the things that we would be sharing in our next extended family home evening and reviewed a summary of our mission, so they would each get to know Grandma and Grandpa better.

Henry in the Hot Tub at the hotel

All the kids in the pool, Timothy is with his mother and grandmother in the back

On Tuesday, before we left for the airport to return home, we were able to attend the "Eight Aces" competition of 8 middle schools' Eighth Grade.  Each school had a team of six individuals to compete in scholastic knowledge of science, math, history, literature, etc.

This is the 30th Annual Academic Challenge of 8th graders

Our grandson, James Preston Devore, was the key player on the Lehighton Middle School team.  We were able to watch the first two rounds of competition that Lehighton won.  In each case, James carried his team.  He thrives on this competition and is incredibly intelligent.  It was fun to watch him present himself so well.

James consulting with the team captain  in the first round

James answering the questions in the buzzer beater responses

As we returned home we found out that the Lehighton team took first place in the three day competition.  We are proud of James.  He is growing up very well and has many talents which he is developing.

Pre-Teen Girls CHO

A few days after returning from Pennsylvania, we held our first CHO with cousins from different families.  We were so happy with how it turned out.  The girls started their CHO at 6:00 pm and we had to force them to go home at 11:00 pm.  They loved it and we loved watching them interact and getting to know each other better.  It is wonderful to see an idea turn into a successful reality.  We know that we had help from our Heavenly Father.  In this CHO we had Natalia, McKenzie and Cherish who all turned 11 in the past 5 months.  We also had Abbie, who is 8 who chose this CHO over the 8 year old boys

Before getting started, decorations by "Oma"

The CHO starts with dinner, usually pizza.

We then begin to get to know each other better,

They then complete their 15 questions and we share them, including our mission presentation

They then created cousins bracelets all together

This photo reflects the joy that we felt throughout the evening

We finished up with some games upstairs and banana splits

7 going on 8 year old boys CHO

On March 15, we held our next cousin hang out with our grandsons that are turning 8 this year.  Once again we were overwhelmed with how well these grandchildren got along and the openness with which they shared their thoughts and desires.  This included Ashton (just turned eight in February), Tiancom (turning eight in April) and Jacob (turning eight in May).  We started earlier, at five, so that we could finish and get them home by ten. We just barely made it.

Again we started with Pizza and great grandma

They enjoyed sharing their favorite photo and treats

They did an amazing job completing the 15 questions and sharing some unique dreams and talents

Their activity was putting together special LEGO kits.  They loved it and each took them home.

They all did very well playing games with Grandpa

Banana Splits were the perfect finishing touch

Some of these grandchildren have not been to many family activities and some do not attend Church meetings with their families.  However, universal love not only builds relationships but also introduces a few spiritual insights.  We certainly can see the hand of our Heavenly Father in these activities.  We look forward to future CHOs with others.  The next one will be with 6 of our teenagers on April 19.

Other Temple Activities

In our last extended Family Home Evening, our grandson Joshua, asked when we could go back to the temple to do baptisms.  He wants to go each month.   So on the spur of the moment we organized an activity for that Friday and were blessed to have all of our eligible grandchildren in Utah to participate.  Words cannot express the joy that we feel while we  are in the temple with our grandchildren.  Next temple day is already reserved for April 19, an hour and half before our teenager CHO.

Our Five Utah Grandchildren that were able to perform baptisms for the dead on March 1

As we are able to get baptisms done, we constantly are trying to keep up with the remaining ordinances.  The culminating activity is always the sealing sessions.  We just finished one with our Rueckert siblings and wives yesterday.  We were able to complete 16 couple sealings and 16 female and 16 male child to parent sealings.  The Spirit is always strong in this wonderful setting.   One of my strongest feelings came yesterday as we sealed a child to my great . . . grandfather, Jacob Hertzler,  who was the first Mennonite Pastor in Pennsylvania.  I know that he was a good man and now feel that he has accepted the restored gospel on the other side of the veil.

Temple sealing ordinances performed in one hour by a room full of Rueckerts

As a side note, this was the third sealing session that I participated in this week.  In the other two sessions, we had to share the time with many others doing the ordinances for their ancestors.  In the two sessions, we were able to accomplish a total of 5 couple sealings and 9 children to parent sealings. This is less than a third of what we can do when we have our family together doing this work.  This is gratifying in so many ways.

Ashton's Baptism

Another highlight of this past month was the baptism of our grandson, Ashton on March 2.  Debbie gave a baptism talk and the ordinance was performed by his father, Dan.  There were many family and friends in attendance on this very special day.  In a social activity afterwards, Ashton was also able to hit a baseball that exploded in "blue" to reveal the recently discovered gender of his little baby brother that is coming in July/August.

Ashton with his father, Dan

Ashton with his grandparents

Ashton with his family

Ashton hitting the ball to reveal the "blue" color

Updated photo of Kari's family taken at Ashton's Baptism

Update on Camila

We were invited for a visit to Camila's doctor this past month in which they told us that the University of Utah research lab had found an abnormality in her chromosomes that identified the disease that has caused her declining health.  It is called HDL2, or Huntington Disease Look Alike. It creates excess protein to her brain that is killing her brain cells. This is a very rare disease that was passed to her from her mother, who also had a similar illness.  There is no known cure at this time.  However, it does confirm what we had suspected and gives us a better understanding of the reasons behind her declining health.  It also clarifies our expectations as to her future health as the disease progresses.  

This process of learning about Camila has occurred by many small miracles.  We were first contacted last year by her aunt, who had placed her in our home when she was 9 years old.  This contact had been facilitated by our previous stake president in Brazil who knew about our adoption.  He still works for the Church in Brazil and is responsible for the Membership records in Brazil.  One day when they were trying to contact this aunt, who had become less active and was in the address unknown file, she asked about Camila. Through subsequent contacts, I shared details with her about Camila's sickness and she shared her understanding about the similar sickness in Camila's mother and grandmother.  This prompted us to request testing for Huntington's Disease.  When she came up negative, we were surprised, but the University of Utah was willing to continue research based on a research grant.  All this led to our eventual understanding and the diagnosis of her illness.

In retrospect we have been able to see how this illness had been attacking Camila for many years.  Where many, including us, were too quick to blame others or circumstances, we now understand what was going on.  It has also given me an amazing feeling of love for this special girl who has had so many challenges in her life.  I know that she will be returning to her Heavenly Father who will welcome her home with open arms.  She has been sent here to help each of us to learn and grow.  Her situation is difficult, but none of it is her fault.  We don't know how long she will continue to live as her brain cells deteriorate, but we want to help her to be as happy as possible while she is still on this earth.

We have started the process to obtain full guardianship for Camila to make the necessary decisions that are needed for her care and her future.  We have a court date for this Wednesday, March 20.  Assuming it is granted, it will facilitate many decisions as we go forward.  

On Valentine's week, Debbie felt prompted to create a photo book of Camila's children that she can look at whenever she wants.  Her greatest desire is always to see her children.  We shared that with her and were pleased with her enjoyment of this gift.

Debbie showing Camila the photo book

Camila enjoying her kids through their photos

Gina was also able to come visit Camila with her baby, Grant.  Camila especially loves being around babies and animals.  We were glad for Gina and Grant to have this time with Camila.

Camila, Gina and Grant

Other Special Events

We are constantly blessed to have opportunities to see our grandchildren in performances in their schools.  These are just a few that we were able to participate in the past 5 weeks:

Caide performing in a Men's Choir.  This particular number was Men in Tights

Joseph participating in a play about the Zombi Apocalypse, Joseph was one of the survivors

Aria telling us the story of the Gingerbread Man with her puppets made in Kindergarten

We celebrated St. Patricks day several times this week.  On Thursday, March 14, we were invited to the home of Elwin and Pamela Burke, who are dear friends in the ward.  They made us a St. Patricks Day dinner complete with Corned Beef, Cabbage and the works.  The food was wonderful and the company was even better.  

On Saturday March 16, in the temple, after the sealing session, I was able to have corned beef again at the cafeteria.  

However, today, St. Patricks Day, Debbie really did it up right.  She made an Irish Stew that was amazingly good and topped it off with an Irish Apple Cake.  Perhaps the best meal that she has ever made.

Sitting down to our Irish Stew dinner, including Irish Soda Bread

This is how it looks right before I devoured it

Birthdays and more birthdays:

Missing a photo of Nikki's 14th birthday celebration.  Sorry Nikki.

Tom celebrating his Birthday 

Ashton with his 8th birthday celebration

Kaisha turning 13

Isake turning 12

 We also celebrated birthday dinners with Ben, Melanie Digerness and Sam all within a week.  Many more to come in the coming weeks.

The photo below is of Ben on his 35th birthday.  He was able to come to our home after his Church services and celebrate it with us.  Ben has been attending the Portuguese ward for the last several weeks.  We are proud of him for his progress and all that he has done in his life

We didn't put all 35 candles on to avoid a fire hazard

Finally, Self-Reliance

In January we started self-reliance class again with the young church service missionaries at Welfare Square.  We go every Monday morning and facilitate the My Foundation lessons.  We divide the group in half and Debbie and I each take half of them.  One week, I had to facilitate without Debbie as she was taking my mother to an eye operation.  It really felt different to be doing Self-Reliance without Debbie.  We have done this so much together, that we work very well as a team.

Church Service Missionaries at Welfare Square in our Self-Reliance Class

We also have started a Self-Reliance Finance group again in our home with members of our ward.  We are meeting each Friday at 12:30 pm.  We have six participants who again are becoming our very close friends.  We will get photos of this amazing group in our next blogpost.